We are a bit overwhelmed. Overwhelmed in a good way with possibilities and choices. Since June we have been considering a move to Arizona. The warmer climate and thoughts of ranch homes attract us to the desert. Being far from family and friends distracts us from the move. We have about another week to make the decision.
In thinking about this decision we have been researching elementary school, middle schools, high schools, colleges, churches, neighborhoods, etc. To the point that the future makes me sick with worry.
I can guess at Claudia's needs and desires but honestly they are just guesses. Someday I'm sure that she will surprise all of us and chose to study penguins in a far off land. I don't know, but I'm scared for her. I want her to be independent and career minded, but the reality of her everyday needs doesn't escape me.
I often find myself reflecting back on the CP conference that we attended in St. Louis at Washington University (when Claudia and Eloise were just one). There was a panel of parents that spoke about their teenagers and young adults. One mom there told the story of sending her son off to college. The first thing she did was make a circle around their hometown on a map and said that he could attend any college he wanted outside of this (90 minute) circle. I know that was difficult for that mom to do but also so very smart. If I could I would protect Claudia and make a world that is more accessible and accepting of her. The truth is that I can't always be there for her. I have to do what I can now to help her to be independent, self-sufficent, intelligent, and confident. At some point I'm going to have to sit back and let go.
Whether we are in Arizona or Minnesota this reality is coming up too fast. In this next week I hope that we can make a smart decision (guess) about what will be the best for all of us in the future but mostly I hope for Claudia that we make a smart decision.
P.S. "Wally" Claudia's service dog hopeful is coming for a visit tomorrow. More details to come..
